Random Predictions for a Thursday Night

I assure you that the Aneury prediction is crazy. He really did not look good last year, I’m not sure he’s even in the rotation unless Wandy is moved (which is very possible)

Andrew McCutchen will hit .310 with over 30 homers, 100 walks, and make a run at the MVP. Pedro Alvarez will rebound and hit 25 homers and actually hit above .200 for the year. Tabata will stay healthy and hit .290 with 30 steals and not pull a hamstring jogging out to LF. The Bucs will finish with 83 wins.

I’d more readily agree with the Lawrie remark if the gold gloves were not so loopy. If you’d said “worthy of a Gold Glove” or some such that would have worked better.

A Major League ballplayer will become a crusader against mystical sports jewelry when he is garroted by his Phiten necklace after becoming entangled with a Chicago Cub fan while chasing a foul ball. In the aftermath, plummetting sales force the company to switch production to athletic cups.

Billy Butler will become the 31st player (preceded by ARod and Miggy) to reach 3000 hits in his career. Ironically, it will be on a sacrifice bunt attempt called for by interim manager Tony LaRussa. It is Butler’s first and only bunt attempt for his career.

John Lackey will become a spokesperson for Popeyes Louisiana Chicken.

will set up a distributorship in the Boston dugout, setting in motion negotiations for adding a Kentucky Fried Chicken sometime in late June, 2012.

Our post was in motion and the previous post beat us to it. heh heh

In the wake of Jose Altuve inexplicably hitting 320/360/450 over the first three months of the season, casejud launches the web’s favorite new baseball prospect site, www.seeItoldallyallmuthafuckas.com

Reality sets in for Altuve on July 7 and he proceeds to hit .210/.270/317 for the remainder of the season, making it the only implosion anywhere near as complete and total as casejud’s own head.

some kind of play on words that I’m not aware of?

1. Dustin Ackley performs so poorly out of the gate that he is sent back to the minors by May 15. He is recalled by the end of June and finishes the year outside the top 15 2B in WAR.

2. Matt Moore is called up June 1 and pitches well enough to garner a few Cy Young votes and finish 8th in the voting.

3. Ryan Howard misses all of April but is back in the lineup by May 15. He proceeds to hit 35 HRs for the year.

4. David Wright finishes 2nd in MVP voting in the NL after finishing off a monster season for the last place Mets.

5. Manny Machado is the #1 prospect on BA’s midseason list.

6. Trevor Bauer is called up June 1, pitches well for the first month but regresses in a huge way. He is sent back down in August for a couple weeks before being recalled in September.

Will break out with the bat and reach top 50 prospect status

1. Jon Niese will post almost identical numbers in 2012 to what Ricky Romero put up in 2011.
2. Jeremy Hellickson will have th best season of any Rays pitcher and finish comfortably inside the top-10 in Cy Young voting.
3. Paul Goldschmidt will receive more points in the MVP voting than Justin Upton.
4. Michael Pineda will never strike out 200 batters in a season (mainly due to injury); Dan Duffy will at least once.
5. Dee Gordon will have more stolen bases and runs scored than Jose Reyes during the duration of Reyes next contract.
6. Aroldis Chapman win at least one Cy Yound Award in his career.
7. Jesus Montero drives in 100 runs no more than twice in his career.
8. Kenley Jansen has five seasons with 120 Ks .

AL East
Baltimore-Brian Matusz rebounds from his forgettable 2011 season.

Boston-In spite of more offseason additions, the Sox miss the playoffs again.

New York-Jesus Montero hits 25-30 homers on his way to AL Rookie of the Year honors.

Tampa-Matt Moore earns a spot in the rotation out of spring training and lives up to the hype, but narrowly misses ROY to Montero.

Toronto-Regrets dealing Travis Snider to Atlanta as part of the package for a pitcher, as Snider finally breaks out.

AL Central
Chicago-Dayan Viciedo has his ups and downs, but still hits 25 homers with a .240 average.

Cleveland-Ubaldo requires surgery, proving the Rockies sold the Indians damaged goods last year.

Detroit-Miguel Cabrera has another alcohol related incident, but returns from suspension to have a monster year.

Kansas City-Wil Myers returns to his 2010 form and sees the Majors in September.

Minnesota-A fully healthy Oswaldo Arcia breaks out in Double-A.

AL West
Los Angeles-Mike Trout doesn’t live up to the hype in the Majors, but hits well after being sent to AAA.

Oakland-Chris Carter finally puts together some Major League success following a mid-season callup and hits 18 homers.

Seattle-Alex Liddi wins the 3B spot, but hits .205 with 12 homers and 17 errors through June and Kyle Seager takes over.

Texas-Neftali Feliz gets another shot at the rotation and pitches well before being moved back to the pen late in the year to protect his arm, like Alexi Ogando this year.

NL East
Atlanta-Jason Heyward rebounds, but still his numbers are similar to his rookie numbers.

Florida-Mike Stanton hits 40 homers.

New York-Wilmer Flores finally gets moved off short, a move that should have happened long ago.

Philadelphia-After returning from injury, Ryan Howard struggles for the rest of the year.

Washington-Bryce Harper hits well for a short period after being called up, but goes into a long slump once pitchers figure him out. He then rebounds to finish strong.

NL Central
Chicago-Carlos Zambrano does not play another game with the team.

Cincinnati-Zack Cozart goes on to win NL Rookie of the Year.

Houston-Paul Clemens and Brett Oberholtzer get called up mid-season and make an impact as back of the rotation starters, allowing the team to deal Wandy Rodriguez.

Milwaukee-Zack Greinke wins the NL Cy Young Award.

Pittsburgh-Pedro Alvarez figures things out and hits .250 with 28 homers.

St. Louis-Allen Craig becomes a 22 homer guy, but still gets little credit nationally.

NL West
Arizona-Jarrod Parker makes the Opening Day rotation.

Colorado-This is the year that Eric Young finally gets significant playing time and steals 45 bases.

Los Angeles-Chad Billingsley rebounds from a bad year with a career year.

San Diego-Jesus Guzman continues to hit well all year for the Padres.

San Francisco-Buster Posey comes back from his injury like it never happened.

The Phillies win only 92 games and miss the playoffs in 2012. Win 90 in 2013 but capture the Wild Card and win a World Series. They then fail to make the playoffs for 8 years.

1. Yankees will fix holes and steamroll to championship.
2. KC and TOR minor league systems will slump and prompt internet talent evaluators to admit— if only to themselves— the process of grading systems and prospects is a waste of everyone’s time.
3. Michael Pineda will be top five for AL Cy Young
4. Cubs will finish with majors worst record
5. Jay Bruce will hit 42 home runs.
6. Desmond Jennings will score 130 runs and steal 65 bases.
7. Adam Dunn bounces back to normal levels.
8. Jose Bautista will get hurt and his fantasy owners will break things around the house.
9. Mark Teixeira drives in 150 runs.
10. #1 prospect in 2013: Taijuan Walker.