Here are Crazy Predictions for the American League in 2015. You can take these as seriously as you like. . .maybe they aren't ALL crazy! Just remember you read it here first if any of these things actually happen! Some are absurd, some aren't.
AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST
Baltimore Orioles: Sometime in late April Jonathan Schoop will hit three homers in one game, driving in eight, then follow up with a two-homer night, prompting hundreds of fantasy owners to snatch him up. He finishes the season with 12 total. Don't worry: he's an All-Star in 2017.
Boston Red Sox: Mookie Betts suffers a 1-for-35 slump prompting lots of arguments about BABIP and a possible trip to Pawtucket. He pulls out of it with a 10-for-20 run. The Red Sox purchase the island of Cuba just to make sure they get every player down there.
New York Yankees: Looking for more veteran leadership after a slow April and feeling the departure of Derek Jeter, the Yankees talk Johnny Damon out of retirement. In a possibly more realistic event, Adam Warren out-pitches CC Sabathia for most of the season.
Tampa Bay Rays: Tim Beckham hits .297/.342/.452 and seizes a regular job, prompting lots of 'I told you sos" from Rays fans and a contract extension from the front office. It turns out to be the best year of his career.
Toronto Blue Jays: Dalton Pompey hits .330 in the first half of the season and makes the All Star Team. He learns how to throw a knuckleball from R.A. Dickey and he's good at that too, prompting the Jays to use him out of the bullpen to pitch an inning during a September blowout.
AMERICAN LEAGUE CENTRAL
Chicago White Sox: Conor Gillaspie has a power spike and hits 20 homers. The White Sox signed somebody from Cuba that no one has currently heard of who turns out to be better than most of the guys who got huge contracts this winter. Jose Quintana leads all American League southpaw starters with 18 wins despite posting a career-high ERA.
Cleveland Indians: Yan Gomes leads all American League catchers with 27 homers. Corey Kluber wins another Cy Young Award and strikes out 297 hitters after learning a knuckleball from R.A. Dickey. Trevor Bauer throws 26 straight scoreless innings in August then posts an 8.50 ERA in September.
Detroit Tigers: Anthony Gose hits just .230 with a .297 OBP but his defense is so good that he leads American League reserve outfielders in fWAR, leading for calls for Fangraphs to completely rework fWAR. Nick Castellanos leads the team in home runs after Miguel Cabrera hurts his arm while attempting to learn a knuckleball from RA Dickey.
Kansas City Royals: The Royals score 19 runs in April and 12 in May, prompting them to purchase Johnny Damon from the Yankees in June for more veteran leadership. That doesn't work, so they sign Herb Washington to add more speed. Rookie outfielder Paulo Orlando has a better season than everyone else on the roster except Alex Gordon.
Minnesota Twins: The Twins play just well enough to stay on the fringes of the race early in the year partly because Torii Hunter hits 19 homers in the first half. He hits two in the second. Not willing to upset team chemistry, they leave Miguel Sano and Byron Buxton and Alex Meyer in the minors most of the season, prompting Aaron Gleeman to pull his hair out. Paul Molitor activates himself to provide more veteran leadership. They finish with 73 wins, punt 2016 and put the rookies in the lineup, then win 84.
AMERICAN LEAGUE WEST
Houston Astros: Vernon Christopher Carter will lead the American League with 42 home runs, 122 RBI, strike out just 149 times, draw 80 walks, hit over .300 for much of the season and finish at .289 and rank third in the MVP voting. Concerned about information leaks and hackers, the Astros look to purchase a new baseball player management information system. Bids are received from several vendors including Charles Forbin Industries, the Daystrom Institute, and North Central Positronics. The winning bid comes from Cyberdine Systems.
Los Angeles Angels: Kole Calhoun and Collin Cowgill post higher WAR values than Albert Pujols. Nobody notices because Mike Trout hits .401/.547/.739 with 59 homers and 62 steals. Drew Rucinski vultures 10 relief wins with a 2.10 ERA prompting the not-to-be-outdone cross-town Dodgers to purchase the entire Frontier League looking for someone similar.
Oakland Athletics: Sonny Gray throws the first no-hitter of 2015 in mid-April. Billy Butler sets a career high with 35 homers. After an otherwise disappointing season Billy Beane trades the entire farm system to the Toronto Blue Jays for R.A. Dickey.
Seattle Mariners: Brad Miller hits .320 on the road and .220 at home. Taijuan Walker throws a no-hitter in Seattle in late July. Rookie Tyler Olson is the Roenis Elias of 2015.
Texas Rangers: Ryan Rua leads American League rookies with 19 homers and ends up having the second-best overall career of any of the 2013 Hickory Bunch, outplaying all the young tools guys except Joey Gallo. Joey Gallo has the best career although he will need time to adjust after hitting 12 homers in his first 97 major league at-bats while striking out 132 times.