FanPost

An apology


I'm sorry.

I really could – and perhaps should – end right there.

Of course, there isn't enough words yet to make this a legitimate post.

But those two words are the most important you'll find in this entire post.

Last year, John Sickels asked me to become the lead draft writer here at minorleagueball.com. I don't want to say it was a dream come true, because honestly, I never even dreamed it was a possibility. After years of reading every word John wrote, years of participating in this great community, he extended an amazing offer. I accepted, and I was excited to do so.

After a few months covering the draft here, Murphy's Law began to impact my life in many ways. I'll spare you the details, I'd rather not have them come across as excuses. But after a lot of work and self-reflection, I'm in a much better place.

This is the first time I've been on this website (or most others) since September or so. Knowing that I could do that is very important to me. But I feel like I'm in a place where I can start picking back up some of the few things that made me happy, excited, and interested. I'm hopeful I know now how to balance online interests with real-life needs and passions.

I regret missing the community prospect list, but I'm sure it turned out great. I'm deeply remorseful for how I left things here, most especially to John. I hope he can forgive me eventually, even just a little, even though it's a bit selfish of me to ask.

I started writing this months ago, but every day that passed made it harder and harder to post. I felt too much like a failure, a disappointment. I felt like I needed to be something more than what I already was, than what I am. I wasn't able or willing to be vulnerable when I needed to be.

Once again, I'm sorry. To all of you, but especially to John.

And hey, draft season is coming, the itch is present. Who knows, maybe I'll fire up some fanposts.


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