Colton Willems, first round pick for the Nats in 2006... has retired... 

some idiot kid in Philly was tasered. 

no smoking-hot chick with massive chesticles has a birthday today. [at least, not in the public domain... i'm sure somewhere out there, there is a hot chick with massive chesticles that is celebrating something]

but hey, happy birthday to Lance Bass. 

Zach McAllister vs. Jake Arrieta
Derek Holland
Casey Kelly
Andy Oliver
Zach Britton
Aaron Crow
Alex Perez
Hector Noesi
Kyle Gibson
Mike Belfiore
Garrett Richards
Alex Colome
Eric Arnett
Jarred Cosart