Elijah Dukes, bastard guy and terrific baseball player, was benched for a game, fined 500 bucks and threatened with a demotion to AAA for coming 5 minutes late. What had he been doing, you ask? Signing baseballs for local Little Leaguers.

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090418&content_id=4326576&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb

I wish I had something funny to say, but frankly this is too bizarre of a story to comment on. I'm still not convinced this isn't an Onion feature that mlb.com screwed up on.