According to Ken Rosenthal and David Lennon, the Mets just started an apocalypse.

The Mets, Indians, and Mariners are involved in a three way trade that went as follows:

Mets receive: RHP J.J. Putz, RHP Sean Green, and OF Jeremy Reed

Mariners receive: RHP Aaron Heilman, 1B Mike Carp, OF Franklin Gutierrez and OF ENDY CHAVEZ!

Indians receive: RHP JOE SMITH and IF Luis Valbuena.

Both manifestations of God have been traded away. The tall, dark, venezuelan speedy left-handed outfielder and the short, sort of stocky, white as a cloud right-handed reliever have been dealt away for what?

I will be moving to Mars, as come April 1, 2009, the planet Earth will be inhabitable.