A Clone or A Female

by Buzz Bissinger on Dec 1, 2008 10:53 AM EST

I was talking to an associate this weekend and brought up this question which I thought merited further discussion: What do you think will happen in baseball first: 1) There will be a female in the big leagues, or 2) There will be a player that is cloned from the DNA of a former superstar in the big leagues (ie. a lab based baby created from the DNA of Albert Pujols or a similar type freak of nature).

My friend thought #1, but as good as some female softball players are, I don't see this happening in the next 20 years. I DO however see scenario 2 as very likely.

Thoughts?

Tweet Comment 27 comments | 1 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Weird question

I’m inclined to say “neither” to both. I don’t think cloning whole people will ever be socially accepted to the extent where people do it for commercial gain, and women just don’t have the physical attributes required to play baseball; they’re not big/strong/fast enough.

And if they were, they’d probably just kick ass at a women’s sport instead.

by mraver on Dec 1, 2008 11:15 AM EST reply actions

Mild cop out

I’ll say woman mainly because I think we wouldn’t know about it if someone cloned a player from Ted Williams frozen head. That doesn’t strike me as the kind of the thing that would be advertised (if the people doing it were smart), especially given the various nurture factors that could submarine the project. If nothing else, I think a woman could likely make it as a knuckleball pitcher if sufficiently determined/gifted. Probably only a matter of time.

But I love the question :)

by Doug on Dec 1, 2008 12:29 PM EST reply actions

Clone

Cloning will never be legal, but either are drugs and the government doesn’t have any luck keeping that under control.

I’d like to go on record and say that in the next 20 years there will be a clone based on the DNA of Albert Pujols, Johan Santana, and Babe Ruth. He will be named Alhan Ruth, and will win the MVP as a hitter in his rookie year, win the cy young as a starter (starting over 50 games), and will break k-rods record for saves.

by spoondoggie on Dec 1, 2008 12:34 PM EST reply actions

What team?

My money is on the Silicon Valley Marlins (or whatever they change the team name to).

by David Tokarz on Dec 1, 2008 2:42 PM EST up reply actions

Silicon Valley Pirates

would be perfect, if there weren’t already a AAA team calling themselves the “Pittsburgh” Pirates.

by JayWise on Dec 1, 2008 2:57 PM EST up reply actions

Silicon Valley Ninjas

facepalm.jpg

by Zonis on Dec 1, 2008 5:05 PM EST up reply actions

+1

by David Tokarz on Dec 1, 2008 5:34 PM EST up reply actions

gear

where can I buy that hat?

The Giants need to sign Harry Doyle.

by jrose643 on Dec 1, 2008 8:06 PM EST up reply actions

We’ll see an Indian baseball player before we see a woman.

by fartballs on Dec 1, 2008 1:35 PM EST reply actions

no shit...

there is a whole TEAM of them already.

by rothe on Dec 1, 2008 1:39 PM EST up reply actions

In either case

please keep George Lucas away from them.

Thanks.

Sincerely,
The Public

by samjjones on Dec 1, 2008 2:16 PM EST reply actions

+1

That was just way to graphic for me… I’m shutter at those images.

Remember: baseball guys... baseball...

by JD Sussman on Dec 1, 2008 2:33 PM EST up reply actions

Cloned players

Honestly I would hope #1 would come true just because I never want 2 to. The idea of cloned players playing in the MLB would turn me away completely from watching the league. I mean that’s artificial performance enhancement that would even disturb Jose Canseco.

by tdot mariner fan on Dec 1, 2008 3:04 PM EST reply actions

i'll guess female

and more specifically, pitcher.

by toonsterwu on Dec 1, 2008 3:07 PM EST reply actions

Or Middle infielder

TheSouthWing.com - A Magazine of essays, prose and poems

by OldProspects on Dec 1, 2008 8:36 PM EST up reply actions

Eh

I’d say a woman, but only because I doubt cloning for the explicit reason of creating another human will never really take shape.

And she’d probably pitch.

by David Tokarz on Dec 1, 2008 3:22 PM EST reply actions

Wasn't a women signed in Japan?

I think she was a knuckleballer…

However, I may be making this story up in my head….

Allan's World of Music

Sport Chit Chat

by achengy on Dec 1, 2008 3:29 PM EST reply actions

Yep:

http://and-that-happened.blogspot.com/2008/11/japanese-school-girl-to-play-pro-ball.html

" He throws it where he wants it, his breaking ball kept getting better and better and of course God gave him that special arm. He's great." ~ Neftali Feliz on Derek Holland.

by Kinslerhomer on Dec 1, 2008 3:31 PM EST up reply actions

Doesn't the chance of some woman ...

getting a cup of coffee in the next 20-30 years seem at least remotely likely? Yeah, it would be publicity and promotionally based, as opposed to based on being the best available prospect at a particular position, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see something like that happen.

by Flynn Blake on Dec 1, 2008 8:20 PM EST reply actions

I'm voting clone

I’m not aware of a single documented instance of a woman ever throwing 90 MPH.

Or to put it another way, I think there’ll be a separate women’s pro baseball league before there’s a woman playing in MLB. No disrespect to women involved— far from it, I wish people respected women’s sports more than they do. It’s just not a level playing field.

Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.

by PaulThomas on Dec 1, 2008 9:32 PM EST reply actions

Jamie Moyer

I know, I know, he’s the exception and not the rule. But a control artist could make the bigs.

by David Tokarz on Dec 2, 2008 9:50 AM EST up reply actions

I can see a submariner or knuckleballer

Or possibly an Eckstein-like slappy middle infielder

Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com

by RoyalsRetro on Dec 2, 2008 11:25 AM EST up reply actions

Funniest post of the year

award, right here.

by METSMETSMETS on Dec 1, 2008 10:57 PM EST reply actions

I predict

There will be a clone of a baseball player and he will suck. Ted Williams’ kid wasn’t any good at baseball y’know.

Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com

by RoyalsRetro on Dec 2, 2008 11:24 AM EST reply actions

Some kids are pretty good

Cal Ripken and Ken Griffey’s kids had pretty nice careers, though.

http://www.chop-n-change.com

by alexwithclass on Dec 2, 2008 5:18 PM EST up reply actions

also

Cecil Fielder’s big boy

I've got a McPheever, and only JoJo Reyes can help me!

by Buzz Bissinger on Dec 2, 2008 6:04 PM EST up reply actions

I think there's an underlying question here that we're not looking at

Right now there are two competing and related fields of science:

1) Cloning
2) Genetic manipulation

The reason that I say that they are competing is as follows. Because if a clone were to make it first, it would be a victory for cloning. But if a woman were to make it first, it would almost certainly be the result of genetic manipulation for all of the reasons discussed earlier in this posting.

Now, the former is a matter of nature v. nurture. Are these individuals any more likely to reach the majors than the average person? If so, to what extent? This seems like it would be related to the percentage of someone’s success that is determined by their genes (as opposed to the way that they were raised).

The latter, on the other hand, seems to be inevitable. Eventually someone will do it, and since there are hundreds of millions of women in baseball-playing countries, the chances of this happening once genetic manipulation happens is probably near 100% (and relatively soon thereafter…).

So, my vote is for the clone, if only because they’d probably be raised, as part of a scientific experiment, by an army of baseball playing geniuses like Arnold Schwartzenagger in Twins. It is most likely that Greg Maddux would be leading this team. The End.

by JayWise on Dec 2, 2008 11:12 PM EST reply actions