BASEBALL BRAIN CHALLENGE #1

by BaseballBrain on Nov 27, 2007 4:18 PM EST

Which current major leaguer would make the best starship captain and why? Which starship captain would make the best major league player?

What position would each of the starship captains play, and what stats do you think they'd post?

You may select captains from Star Trek, Star Wars, Firefly, etc. etc.

I have plenty more questions with important implications, but these will have to do for today.

Tweet Comment 22 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Chase Utley

hes a stud

by wildthang on Nov 27, 2007 4:16 PM EST reply actions

some captains

I see him as a low OBP, high power type of guy. He'd be swinging for the fences. I would envision him playing RF, with stats around 260/320/500.

Sisko would be the best overall captain, with his superior athleticism and baseball knowledge. I would put him at 3b, where he'd have stats of 290/360/530...maybe better if he was in the NL.

Picard, sad to say, would probably be a utility infielder, though it's quite possible his scrappiness factor would approach that of Eckstein. I'll say he'd hit 265/310/375.

Janeway of course would have an uphill battle being that no female has ever made the majors.

As far as Luke Skywalker, his light saber would destroy the ball, so he's kind of hard to project.

I've been thinking for quite some time about Captain Archer and I can't quite pigeonhole him yet. He would seem to be someone with average tools across the board. Perhaps he could be a #3 type starting pitcher.

by BaseballBrain on Nov 27, 2007 4:16 PM EST reply actions

Kirk

Whoops, the first captain mentioned above should be Kirk.

by BaseballBrain on Nov 27, 2007 4:17 PM EST up reply actions

destroy the ball

by wily mo on Nov 27, 2007 4:28 PM EST up reply actions

Fantastic

Great pic. I say Ichiro slices him up but good.

by Zero Gs on Nov 27, 2007 8:07 PM EST up reply actions

Nah.

Ichiro is too much of a slap hitter. Maul would overpower him.

Send your top 50-100 prospects to slurveone@yahoo.com!!!

by slurve on Nov 27, 2007 11:47 PM EST up reply actions

ROTFLMFAO

The Janeway and Luke comments made me bust a gut.

Gotta love good satire.

by AucklandGM on Nov 27, 2007 4:20 PM EST reply actions

Luke

His lightsaber would cut the ball nicely in two, but he could use the Force to drive the two pieces to different parts of the outfield, resulting in bedlam as he ran the bases.
Can you imagine him at the plate?
Ump: Strike Two!
Luke: ...that was ball four...
Ump: Ball Four! Take your base.

God rested one day out of 7, Felix rests 4 out of 5.

by CrimsonLiederhosen on Nov 27, 2007 4:31 PM EST reply actions

Chewbacca & Yoda

I could see Chewbacca hitting 80-90 HR a year, but he would probably also have 300 strikeouts since his strike zone is so large.

Yoda would make a great CF since he covers so much ground and he sure could scale the wall!! Definite Gold Glover even though his throwing arm would be a little weak.

The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again.

by Savoy on Nov 27, 2007 4:34 PM EST reply actions

Jeter

He should be captain of the Starship Clutch.

Vogt early, Vogt often.

by Brickhaus on Nov 27, 2007 5:11 PM EST reply actions

Starship Clutch...

Does that Starship have limited range too?

"Tim Lincecum will win 1 Cy Young and 11 Tim Lincecums." -uga007

by Boxkutter on Nov 27, 2007 5:15 PM EST up reply actions

No.....

Since he's good in the clutch, he should captain a starship with manual transmission. I'm pretty sure the Enterprise has had automatic transmission at least since it went to Constitution class.

by BaseballBrain on Nov 27, 2007 5:24 PM EST up reply actions

Joba...

naturally..

by omambiyick on Nov 27, 2007 5:21 PM EST reply actions

Captain Spock

I'd say captain Spock would be the greatest Baseball player of all the captains.

I'd say something like .300/.500/.750

For an OPS of 1.250

He's just a superior being. I'd give him a higher OBP if he were 100% Vulcan.

by RMF on Nov 27, 2007 7:18 PM EST reply actions

spock isn't a captain

but I think he would make a great player albeit as a pitcher rather than a hitter.

Just imagine that Vulcan grip. It would be the best forkball ever. Since he doesn't have much of a fastball and can't really change speeds I'd see him as an uber closer.

by pedrophile on Nov 27, 2007 8:40 PM EST reply actions

Mirror, Mirror...

if this was an "alternative" Trek universe, I would ask for your agonizer pedrophile (not full duration, mind you)...As of Wrath of Kahn, our Vulcan friend was Captain Spock (a logical promotion, of course)...however, I will refrain from using the Tantulus field, as your forkball observation was extremely clever...

by almantle on Nov 27, 2007 10:38 PM EST up reply actions

oh sh1t

I stand corrected! ouch! Nice touch, well done

by pedrophile on Nov 28, 2007 1:19 AM EST up reply actions

Half-assed Answers

Sisco - Catcher, but with sort of the crazy bad-ass mentality of a Carlos Zambrano and the old-school attitude of a Mike Scoscia

Janeway - Journeyman, a la Mike Morgan.

Kirk - The original Derek Jeter.

Picard - Scholarly type, I'm thinking something like Mike Mussina

Spock - A-rod: superior being who shows no emotion or soul.

Data - See Spock

Riker - Jeff Reardon. They share the same beard

Luke Skywalker - Jim Abbott - they're both missing a hand.

On the other side, I think I would pay good money to see Milton Bradley turned into a Federation of Planets captain.

Barry Bonds is a Sith lord.

by Transmission on Nov 28, 2007 1:19 AM EST reply actions

Jedi and Sith

Are really too overpowered if we assume they can use the force. Perhaps baseball stadiums would be outfitted with ysalamiri, cancelling their force abilities.

Even without the force, though, Darth Vader has the advantage of standing about six and a half feet tall, and has largely bionic limbs. I'm guessing he could probably throw the ball through the catcher's glove, so he'd be pretty much unstoppable on the mound. Plus, he'd never get arm injuries and he'd have perfectly repeatable mechanics!

by ajohnst1 on Nov 28, 2007 3:03 PM EST reply actions

Also note

That I know Darth Vader isn't a "starship captain" per se.

I bet Han would be a pretty solid player...

by ajohnst1 on Nov 28, 2007 3:03 PM EST up reply actions

Vader...

seems like he would be too stiff to me. Like Gabe Kapler. Not flexible enough to really get to balls that weren't hit right down the middle. Plus, he would have to stay at only DH or 1B. Can't see him chasing down flyballs or diving for grounders.

"Tim Lincecum will win 1 Cy Young and 11 Tim Lincecums." -uga007

by Boxkutter on Nov 28, 2007 5:35 PM EST up reply actions